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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634894">finger dances and second chances</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabeIIa/pseuds/isabeIIa'>isabeIIa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Third Person Omniscient, idk man but it made me cry and I WROTE IT, this is set in 2017 because timelines, uhhhhhhhhhhh they sad bois</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:15:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabeIIa/pseuds/isabeIIa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>where Gao needs, more than anything, to see Izuru, but Izuru isn’t the keenest on getting his heart broken, again</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hakuba Gao/Nozawa Izuru, Nozawa Izuru/Hakuba Gao</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>finger dances and second chances</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Izuru looks across the room, he meets the eyes of the one he was oh so <em>desperately</em> trying to avoid, the one he <em>loved</em>, so long ago, the one who <em>left</em>, so long ago. The one <em>who</em><em>loved him</em>, or so he had thought, but when Izuru needed him, maybe the most in his <em>entire life</em>, Gao had left.</p><p> </p><p>Gao’s eyes connected with Izuru’s, and he saw, no, he <em>felt</em> the emotions swirling within them, and he knew, without a single doubt, he was feeling the same emotions. All of <em>shame</em>, the <em>hurt</em>, the <em>love</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Gao saw it all, <em>felt</em> it all, <em>regretted</em> <em>it all</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru allowed himself to look for <em>only</em> a moment. For a <em>only</em> moment, he looked into those eyes, the one’s he fell for back then, the one’s he’ll <em>undoubtedly</em> fall for again. He turned and dashed off to the nearest group of people, <em>trying</em> to engage in conversation with them.</p><p> </p><p>Gao couldn’t help himself, he followed Izuru, weaving through the crowd, never once taking his eyes off the one he wanted. The one he <em>needed</em>. He gently pushed past people, politely turned down their conversations, he might have heard his name being called out, but nothing else matter when Izuru was <em>right there</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru shook with nerves, he knew, no matter how hard he tried to hide, Gao will <em>always</em> find him in the end. He knew he could not hide forever. That’s how it’s always been, how it always will be. He had never been able to escape Gao, not even when he left. He saw Gao everywhere, every waking moment, on the TV, in the news, and even, sometimes, in his dreams.</p><p> </p><p>Gao stopped short of Izuru by a few metres, simply taking in the sight of him. His blonde hair, which used to be shorter, now tied back, a few strand falling in front of his face. Oh, <em>his</em> <em>face</em>, that is what Gao found his eyes trailing back to, over and over again. His <em>painfully beautiful</em>face.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru felt he eyes of Gao on him. He knew where he was, he <em>felt</em> where he was. A few metres to the right, slightly behind. Izuru tried his <em>very best</em> to ignore Gao’ gaze, to talk and to laugh with his other alumni. Only he <em>couldn’t</em>, not with Gao so, <em>so close</em>. He had a spilt-second moment of weakness and, much to his own dismay, he looked.</p><p> </p><p>Gao’s breath hitched as Izuru looked his way. They were closer now, and Gao could see the <em>brilliant bright blue</em> that Izuru’s eyes were. The eyes that watched over him, all those years ago, the eyes that loved him, all those years ago, the eyes that <em>he loved</em>, all those years ago.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru realised his mistake as soon as he made it. He hastily looked away, hoping Gao didn’t notice his turn of the head, but he <em>knew </em>Gao did. He <em>knew </em>Gao saw the sadness in his eyes, he <em>knew </em>Gao saw the pain, the regret, the <em>love</em>, in his eyes. He <em>knew</em> Gao saw <em>him</em>, all the <em>good</em> and all the <em>bad</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Gao couldn’t stop himself from moving forwards, until he was side by side with Izuru. He didn’t look at him, however, instead, he <em>listened</em> to his breathing, his heartbeat, the slight tapping of his fingers on his jeans. <em>Somehow</em>, the noise of the large crowd was drowned out, and it was as if they were <em>the only two</em> inhabiting the room.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. He was was stiff, but felt as if he could <em>crumble</em> at any moment, like a piece of timber not properly looked after. His breathing became uneven, and his hands shook.</p><p> </p><p>Gao’s left hand hovered just above Izuru’s shoulder, enough for Izuru to notice, not enough for him to flinch away. His waited for a few moments, letting Izuru process the <em>physical</em> touch, giving him a moment to prepare himself for what was to come.</p><p> </p><p>“Nozawa-san.” Instinctively, Izuru turned his head to the sound of his name being said. Gao’s voice was sweet, smooth, like honey. Izuru was drawn to it, like a sugar ant.</p><p> </p><p>“Ga-.” He stopped himself. He <em>couldn’t</em> call him that anymore, not after all these years. “Hakuba-san.” Emotion flashed through Gao’s eyes, which were now so close, Izuru didn’t know just how much <em>longer</em> he could look in them.</p><p> </p><p>“I want, no- I <em>need</em> to talk to you, Nozawa-san.” Gao tried his best to keep his voice steady, but he failed when it cracked as he said his name, the emotion was slowly, <em>desperately</em>, trying to get out.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru looked down, “I don- I don’t know, Hakuba-san.” He sighed, shaking his head slightly. “The last time we spoke, you broke my heart. My <em>heart</em>, Hakuba-san.” Izuru raised his head once again, the overwhelming pain he felt back then was rushing back now, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold it in.</p><p> </p><p>Gao slipped his left hand into Izuru’s right. He sighed in relief as Izuru didn’t pull away, in fact, Gao could have <em>sworn</em> he felt Izuru’s hand <em>tighten</em> around his for a moment, before it loosened again. Gao wasn’t quite sure what it <em>meant</em>, but he knew what he <em>wanted</em> it to mean.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru let himself be guided out of the crowded room and into an empty one. Gao stood into front of him, their hands still connected. He couldn’t bring himself to let go, it had been so long, <em>too long</em>, since he held Gao’s hand in his own.</p><p> </p><p>Gao studied Izuru’s features, they hadn’t changed much, but they had a different aura about them, he looked <em>older</em>, not in physical age, but <em>mental age</em>. His eyes looked older than anything else, like he had seen a millions wars, like he had <em>lived through</em> them. It hurt Gao, it hurt him so much that he just wanted to take Izuru away and never, <em>ever</em>, come back.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru couldn’t bare to look Gao in the eyes, so he looked <em>anywhere</em> but. His eyes trailed the support beams lining the ceiling, the too still fans hovering about them, the way the moonlight reflected off the desks. He realised this was the very classroom they would have their secret rendezvous during high school.</p><p> </p><p>Gao didn’t seem to notice.</p><p> </p><p>“Nozawa-san.” The words rang throughout the room. Gao watched as his words pulled Izuru back to the the present. “I need to tell you something. Something you might not want to hear, not <em>now</em>, at least.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it that you don’t love me anymore? Because I wouldn’t be surprised, a bit <em>disappointed</em>maybe, but not <em>surprised</em>.” A laugh mixed with a sob got caught in Izuru’s throat. He hiccuped. A tear rolled down his cheek, disconnected from his face and splashed on the floor. Had it been any quieter, the two boys would have been able to <em>hear</em> it hit the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Gao reached his right hand up, gently wiping away the rest of the tears now starting to fall. “It’s not that, Nozawa-san.” He wiped the rest of the tears away, and cupped Izuru’s check with his palm. The reaction he got, was <em>not</em> the one is was expecting. Instead of flinching away like Gao thought he would, Izuru tilted his head <em>towards</em> Gao’s touch, closing his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Then <em>tell me</em>, Hakuba-san. Tell me what you <em>wanted</em> to say.” Izuru’s voice was just audible. As he rests his head in Gao’s hand, he tries to remember the last time he felt so comfortable. The last time he felt so okay, so normal, so <em>loved</em>. As far as he could remember back, the last time he felt any of these things, <em>he</em> <em>was with Gao</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Gao’s eyes rested on Izuru’s lips. How long has it been since he saw them, touched them, <em>kissed</em> them. He didn’t know, all he knew is that he <em>was</em> going to do it again.</p><p> </p><p>“I was wrong to leave.” He felt Izuru go stiff again, but for only a moment, as he relaxed, even more than he had before. “I was <em>so</em> <em>wrong</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“What made you believe <em>that</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I regretted that decision every single day of my life. I didn’t love volleyball more than I loved you. I didn’t love <em>anything</em> more than I loved <em>you</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“And there it is. That painful word. <em>Loved</em>.” It broke Izuru’s heart, <em>again</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Gao wondered how Izuru could sound so calm as he said those words. “Yes. I may have loved you <em>back then</em>. But that love doesn’t compare to how I feel about you <em>now</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“And how do you feel about me <em>now</em>, Hakuba-san?” Izuru prepared himself for the worst, but it never came.</p><p> </p><p>“Words cannot express my feelings for you, Nozawa-san.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then explain something else to me. Explain the way you feel when I’m around.” Izuru felt better now then he had in years. The simple touch of Gao’s hand was almost enough to make him forgot the last 5 years.</p><p> </p><p><em>Almost</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Like I could do <em>anything</em>. Like the trillions of stars in the universe favoured me. Like sun shines, and the winds blow only for me. I feel like I’m the king, a god.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why so much. Why can’t you just feel <em>okay</em>, <em>average</em>, <em>normal</em>, when you’re with me.” Izuru finally opened his eyes again. He looked up into Gao’s eyes. “That’s how I feel, at least. You make me feel <em>needed</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel that way, and <em>so much more</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then <em>prove</em> it to me. After all these years, you can’t expect me to take you back so quickly, can you? It’s not that simple, Hakuba-san. You might make me feel safe, warm, and wanted, but I need to protect myself now, <em>better</em> than I did back then.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want me to do.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, but even the most extravagant of words are not enough to <em>fix what you broke</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Gao flinched. His hand disconnected from Izuru for a moment. He knew the pain he was feeling was displayed all over his face, displayed in his reaction, displayed in the way he now hesitated to hold Izuru. “I don’t know what to do, Nozawa-san.”</p><p> </p><p>Izuru had done a good job at keeping his calm after Gao held him, but he had had enough. “<em>Anything</em>.” His voice cracked.</p><p> </p><p>At that, Gao did the first thing that he thought of, the thing he’s been itching to do since he saw Izuru, the thing that would, without a doubt, ruin everything he’s been trying to get back tonight.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gao kissed Izuru.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>At first, Izuru had no idea what was happening, but as he felt the familiar warmth of Gao’s body pinned against his, as he felt the reassuring weight of Gao’s arms around him, as he felt the intoxicating feeling of Gao’s lips pressed against his, he <em>knew</em>. He <em>knew</em> that this was it, this was what he had been missing the most in these last few years.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling of simply <em>being</em> with Gao.</p><p> </p><p>Gao couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips as Izuru leaned into him, the same way he had done many, many times before. The way Izuru’s fingers danced their way up Gao’s arms, across his shoulders and down his chest reminded him of all those early morning and late afternoon cuddles, where it seemed Izuru’s hands had minds and lives of their own.</p><p> </p><p>Izuru was the first to break the contact, only to slip his arms around Gao’s torso, pressing his ear over Gao’s heart. “I love you, Gao.” It had been so, <em>so long</em>, since Izuru had uttered those words out loud, and being able to <em>hear</em> the way Gao’s heart reacted, made the experience all the better.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Izuru.” He rested his head on Izuru’s. Inhaling the forgotten scent of the one he’s loved all this time, he sighed a sigh of relief. “I guess this is my second chance, then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes and you better be careful, I <em>do not</em> give out third chances.” They laughed, and they laughed and they laughed. They laughed more then either had in a long, long time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Demian and K9 are the only real ones *pounds fist on chest* /lh</p><p>K9 ceo of nozagao likes this so now i can pass away peacefully /pos</p></blockquote></div></div>
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